Dialogue Revised

Dialogue
(V.O.)First Scene- Pulling up to Joe’s House
I pulled up to Joe’s house at a quarter past midnight. The cool night air was stinging my lungs. This was the moment I would take my revenge. This was the moment I would take the life of the man who killed me 18 hours ago.

(V.O.)Second Scene- Waking up and finding syringe
It all started when I woke up and saw the syringe lying across from me. Just then pain shot through my arm. I looked down and saw the wound on my arm. What was injected into me?

(V.O.)Third Scene- Running into bathroom
I staggered into the bathroom reeling from what was put in my system. Who did this? How? Why? My breathing became exaggerated. I was counting how many breaths I took. Not knowing if I was running out.

(V.O.)Fourth Scene-Sitting On Couch in living room
An average citizen would have run out their door and drove to the hospital to find a cure. A normal person would have run to their family for one last goodbye. I wasn’t exactly normal. I understood that when the type of people I worked with wanted someone dead, they were dead. They would find you wherever you decided to hide; especially hospitals. I was a dead man; I just was lucky enough to know it beforehand. I had only one thing in my mind- revenge.

(V.O.)Fifth Scene- Grabbing keys and driving to Dennis
The first person I thought of to go to for information was Dennis. Dennis was the bottom feeder of the family syndicate. He was assigned all the dirty jobs no one else wanted, and he loved to eavesdrop. He would know who the players were.

(V.O.)Sixth Scene- Walking out of the alley
It took half my savings to get the information out of Dennis. Not that money mattered anymore. He said that I had been poisoned. He told me I could find the man who sold the poison to my killer later that night across town. He meets friends at the same place for dinner every weeknight.

(V.O.)Seventh Scene- Sitting in living Room
You would think a dead man would have more important things to do than wait around for his killer. When you have no family, no one to care for you, no one to know if your alive or dead…. you begin to understand why.

-My mother died after giving birth to me, and my father probably doesn’t know he even has a son. I was lost as a child, in and out of foster homes constantly. No body wanted to deal with a delinquent child. I would be sent back to the orphanage for the process to start over again. I eventually ran away from that damn orphanage and joined the family. The family gave me a name, a gun, and a purpose.

(V.O.)Eighth Scene- Waiting in car for man to go inside
I waited in my car until I saw him go into the restaurant. He looked at me with surprise. My gun just inches away. He knew who I was, He gave up the name of who bought the poison easy enough. The Name of the person was harder to swallow.

(V.O.)Ninth Scene- Flashback to Joes House
About five years ago I pulled up to my old partners house looking for some help. I got into some bad trouble gambling and needed some money to win big to clear my debt. Joe didn’t like it, desperation won out and I pulled a gun on him. He didn’t like that.

(V.O.)Tenth Scene- Back to Car Scene
I staggered out of the car. The knife blade throbbing with my heart beat. My energy sapped from my body. I can’t die yet I can’t die yet. I have to get to Joe’s house.

(V.O.)Eleventh Scene- Pulling up to Joes House
I pulled up to Joe’s house at a quarter past midnight. The cool night air was stinging my lungs. My warm, slick blood running out of my side. My hands are beginning to shake. Only have moments left.

(V.O.)Twelfth Scene- The encounter
The door was open. I slowly made my way in keeping quiet. Joe was already waiting for me at the table. I stumbled to the chair and fell into it. I had to get him talking so I could find an opening.

Actual Diegetic audio
Main- Why Joe? Why did you poison me.
Joe- For ruining my life.
Main- What do you mean? I have left you alone since you left the family, except for the day I came for the money…
Joe- Exactly, The day you came for the money.
Do you think I would ever let you live after what you did?
Main- Joe, I’m sorry I pulled my gun on you…I was desperate. Think of all the years as partners.
Joe- Nothing can bring back the 5 years of torment I have endured because of you. Nothing will ever bring back my wife.
Main- What are you talking about?! I’ve never even seen your wife.
Joe- No, but you did shoot her. She was hiding when you came over that day. You fired one round. That round went straight through her heart.
Main- Joe, I never ment to…if I would have known…
Joe-*Takes out bloody piece of clothe* Throws it at main and shoots him.